


More Than The Captain's Kid | TK Begins

by fortheloveoftarlos



Category: 911 Lone Star, Tarlos
Genre: 911lonestar, Lonestar, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 9,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25431553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortheloveoftarlos/pseuds/fortheloveoftarlos
Summary: TK and Carlos just started dating.Carlos is still curious and wanting to know more about TK.On their first date, TK tells his life story to Carlos and that is how it unravels into TK begins!enjoy my begins mini-seriesmore to come
Relationships: Tarlos - Relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	1. TK begins

1 week after the solar storm

Carlos and I have been dating for a week, officially. We made a great team and I realized that now. I care about him I've always known that. We haven't really gone on any official dates, but I know now that I am ready. We still don't know eachother. We have a lot to learn, but isn't that what dating is....?

Carlos ran into me on a call " hey"

I turned around to see Carlos looking right at him " hey you"

Carlos looked at him " so I was thinking.... We should go out tonight."

I looked at him " ok... you know we all always go out after shift..."

Carlos looked at me " I'm not talking about that.... I'm talking about a real date just you and me"

I smirked " oh..."

Carlos looked at me, concerned " is that a bad idea...?"

I smiled and put my hand on his shoulder " no Carlos... that sounds amazing!"

Carlos smiled " good... so I'll pick you up tomorrow at 7?

I smiled " yeah"

The next night

I put on a nice button-up on, but changed it a few times... I really wanted to impress Carlos after our history.

My dad walked in " hey.... What's going on?"

I looked back at him deciding between shirts " oh uh... Carlos and I are going out tonight"

My dad looked at me " like a..."

I interrupted him " yeah dad... like a real date!"

He looked at me " so this is serious?!"

I smiled " I guess it is..."

Carlos picked me up

I smiled " where are we going...?"

He looked at me " you'll see"

We got there, we ordered, this was nice.

I smiled " this is really nice!"

Carlos looked at me "I'm glad we're finally doing this"

He smiled " yeah me too..."

Carlos looked serious " TK I can't believe I've known you for what... 4 months and I still don't know anything about you..."

I looked at him " I know... what do you want to know...?"

Carlos looked at me " everything!"

I looked at him " ok but it's kinda a long story!"


	2. Chapter 2

There was a lot that Carlos needed to know about me. I had to be open if I wanted any of this to work. I knew that. I was ready. I wanted to have a relationship, I wanted to love someone again, I wanted to be loved again. I was ready and I was ready to tell Carlos my story from the start.

I looked at Carlos " my life is a long story... but I'm ready to tell it"

Carlos just listens

December 29, 1993

A baby cries

TK mom takes a breath of relief and starts crying

The doctor smiled, placing the baby boy in her arms " it's a boy!"

Owen smiled, kissing his wife's head " it's a boy!"

Owen held his son in his arms " TK..."

Gwen looked at him " TK?"

Owen looked at her " Tyler Kennedy Strand..."

She smiled " and we can call him TK for short"

Owen kissed her head " yeah... what do you think?"

She smiled " I love it!"

6 weeks later

Owen Couldn't wait for TK to meet the guys at the station.

Owen looked at Gwen " so your gonna bring TK by the house today... right?"

Gwen smiled " yeah"

A few hours later Gwen packed up and headed to the station with baby TK

Owen saw Gwen " there he is... hi honey!"

She kissed him " hey"

Owen got Tk out of his stroller " hey TK! How's my boy...?"

Gwen looked at him " he's been a little fussy but he seems to be happy now"

One of the guys looked at Owen holding baby TK " of course he is... he's with more of his family now..."


	3. Chapter 3

My mom and dad always said that my first year of life flew by. They were always so happy to make it through every year. My mom worked a lot sometimes so my dad would keep me at the station and I loved it. My dad always said that the fire station was always my second home.

My dad looked at me as I got my backpack on for the first day of kindergarten

I looked at him " daddy are you coming to my school too?!"

He bent down " listen TK... Daddy has to go to work. I wish I could though.... But listen after school you and your mom are gonna come by the station and we can have dinner with the guys and you can sit on the firetruck... Ok?"

I smiled " ok daddy!"

My mom kissed him " see you later!"

A full school day passes

I ran into my dad's arms at the station " daddy!"

He picked me up " there's my boy! How was your first day!"

I smiled " good!"

My dad smiled " good... Are you hungry?"

I smiled " yeah..."

My dad walked with me " good... Mike made his famous mac and cheese again..."


	4. Chapter 4

I always wanted a brother or sister. The guys at the station had multiple kids and I always wanted a sibling. It seemed like a built-in friend, someone I could play with. My mom always said that with her work schedule and my dad's that it wouldn't be fair to add another kid to the mix. I never stopped imagining a sibling when I was young though.

My dad got into bed with my mom " we should have another baby..?"

She looked at him " Owen..."

He looked at her, confused "what?"

She looked at him " Owen we can't have another baby!"

He looked at her " why not?"

She looked at him "you work 3-4 24 hour shifts a week... and I'm buried with cases right now. We have to focus on TK. It wouldn't be fair to him or to a baby...."

He looked at her " maybe your right.... I just thought that it might be nice for TK to have a sibling to run around with and play with..."

She looked at him " I just... I think TK is enough for us... or at least for now..."

That was it. That conversation never happened again even with how much I brought it up as I got older.


	5. Chapter 5

When I was 7, 9/11 happened. It was just like any other day. School had been in session for a week. I was in first grade. My dad said goodbye to me just like any other day. My mom walked me to school and that was that.

Then by the first few hours of school, the towers went down. All the teachers were talking, but none of the kids knew what was happening.

My mom picked me up from school early as they evacuated the school, hugging me tight "TK!"

I held on to her " mom... what happened?"

She looked at me " there was an accident TK... a lot of people got hurt and some of them still need help."

I looked at her " is daddy gonna help them?"

She nodded " yeah he is... let's go home ok.."

We went home and my mom just watched the news while I played with our firetruck. I didn't know what was happening.

I looked at my mom " mommy when's daddy coming home?"

She looked at me " I don't know honey... dads helping a lot of people right now..."


	6. Chapter 6

A few weeks after 9/11

A few weeks have passed since 9/11. My dad lost 14 f his own men on that day. It had been hard on him and the guys. The 256 was like a storm cloud. It was dark in that house since my dad lost his friends. My dad seemed sad a lot.

I looked at him " daddy are you sad today...?"

He looked at me " a little bit bud... I just miss my friends."

I smiled at him " daddy I'll be your friend!"

He smiled a little bit " come here TK.... thank you! Your so sweet you know I love you so much!"

I smiled " I know daddy!"

a few months after the tragedy 

My dad would come home late from work. My mom scaled back on her cases from work. 

My mom looked at him as he came in the house, she was mad and didn't say anything

He looked at her " hey babe... where's TK?"

She looked at him " he's sleeping... it's late..."

He looked at her " right.... I get your mad."

She looked at him " really Owen! What gave that away?! TK misses his dad... he keeps asking where you are and why your not home!"

He looked at her " I know... I know..."

She looked at him " i'm going to bed...."


	7. Chapter 7

It was February 2002. 

My dad, he spent a lot of time at the station. He would show up late. I would be sleeping when he got home. I felt that my mom was always upset. She was mad at my dad. They would fight sometimes and I would hear them. It was months of fighting, but I didn't know why. 

My mom sat the table as my dad walked in 

He looked at her " hey... how was your day...?"

She looked up, she was quiet " fine..."

He looked at her " I'm sorry i'm late... one of the guys was having PTSD... and..."

She stopped him " enough! enough with the excuse OWEN! your son needs you and where were you? not here!"

He looked at her " i'm really sorry babe but my guys need me! we lost 14 brothers that day and a lot of my guys need help and extra time. I'm a capatian I can't just walk out on my men!"

She looked at him " right... but you can walk out on your son..."

He looked at her " I'm not walking out on TK..."

She looked at him " I don't want to fight anymore....."

He looked at her " I don't either."

She continued " I want a divorce..."

He looked at her " excuse me...?!"

She looked at him " Owen were not just going through a rough patch... I don't even know who you are anymore... and let's face it we haven't been happy in a long time..."

He looked at her " we can work through this..."

She looked at him " Owen let's be honest.... there is nothing to work out... I'm going to bed and don't come up..."


	8. Chapter 8

A few weeks went by. Mom and dad were distant, but I didn't really realize that at the time. Dad would sleep at the station a lot. He would sneak home early in the morning so at breakfast he could see me. He would tuck me in at night and be right here again in the morning. 

My mom looked at me, as she and my dad sat at the kitchen table " hey TK come sit for a minute..."

I sat down not knowing what was going on 

My mom looked at me " your dad and I wanted to talk to you about something...."

My dad looked at me " buddy... you know mommy and daddy have been fighting and we haven't been nice to eachother... right?"

I looked at them " ya"

My mom looked at me " your dad and I have talked about it a lot and we decided that were not going to live together anymore. and just know we still love you TK very much."

My dad added " so TK... mommy's gonna stay here and daddy's gonna get his own apartment. You'll get your own special room at dads place and when you come stay with me we can paint it whatever color you want! We love you TK."

I looked at them " ok"

My mom looked at me " During the week your gonna stay with mommy and then on Friday you get to go with dad until Sunday night."

My dad looked at me, trying to be happy " that's pretty cool TK... you get two rooms!" 

I smiled " yeah! can I go play...?"

My mom nodded " sure"

My dad looked at me " wait TK give daddy a hug"

He held me tight and didn't want to let go. My parents always said this was the right thing to do. I didn't like it as I got older, but now it's ok.


	9. Chapter 9

5 years later 

I'm 13. I still love firetrucks and cars. I think a lot of boys my age liked those things. My best friends were Mike and Danny. They liked other things, but I was still figuring everything out. 

We stood by the lockers 

Danny looked " oh there's Jess and Ashely"

I stood there " who?!"

Mike looked at me, surprised that I didn't know ho he was talking about " TK! really?! Jess and Ashely the most popular girls in 7th grade!"

I looked at him " okkk"

Danny looked at me " she's so pretty!"

I stood there as they were drooling over these girls. I knew I was always different. I didn't like the girls in our grade. I didn't drool over them like most boys. I wanted to be friends with girls.

Danny looked at us " the annual science camping trip is this weekend..."

I stood there " yeah"

Mike looked at me " you guys going...?"

I looked at him " don't we have to...?"

Danny nodded " yeah pretty much"

the weekend 

The annual science field trip. We were supposed to go on hunts for plant life and do building exercises but it was all so lame.

There was a boy there that I didn't know or talk to. 

The teacher looked at me " TK your going work with Ryan..."

I looked at him " hey i'm TK!"

He looked at me " TK... what does that stand for...?"

I smiled " Tyler Kennedy"

He looked at me " maybe i'll call you Tyler..."

We bunked together in the tent inside of with Mike and Danny. It was nice to be with different people. 

Ryan looked at me " do you think any of the girls in our grade are pretty..?"

I looked at him " I guess..."

He looked at me " I mean they seem ok... right?"

I looked at him " I guess so..."

He just stared into my eyes and I could feel him thinking. Ryan was different. I liked Ryan.

I looked into his blue eyes 

He looked at me "what?!"

I leaned in and kissed him 

and he kissed me 

We held on there for a few minutes.

he pulled away 

I looked at him " I uh.."

He looked at me " that was... good"

I looked at him " do you wanna do it.. like kiss again?"

He kissed me and I felt something I never felt before. 

He pulled away " was that your first..?"

I smiled " yeah..."

He looked at me " me too!"


	10. Chapter 10

A few weeks after the kiss 

I had told nobody about it. Ryan and I had barely talked. We would see eachother in passing, but just gaze our eyes at eachother before looking away. I had to listen to my friends talk about girls and I just wasn't interested. I had been figuring everyhting out about me and I don't think I like girls. Everyhting right now in my life is just so confusing. 

I walked into the station, I was spending the weekend with my dad and he wanted me to stay here while he was on shift, and then we would go back to his place for the weekend. 

I stood there and one of his guys looked at me " TK... hey bud how's it going.."

I smiled a little " good..."

He looked at me " how's school.... what are you in the 7th grade...?"

I smiled " yeah.."

He looked at me "so how are things for seventh-graders these days... do you have a girlfriend...?"

I looked at him, and I felt so uncomfortable " oh... uh no."

He looked at me " give it some time son..."

I saw my dad and he hugged me " TK I've missed you!"

I held on "I missed you too dad!"

We walked off 

I looked at him " dad... there's something I want to tell you..."

He looked at me " ok what is it...?"

I sat there, but the words couldn't come out 

He looked at me " T.... TK what is it...?"

I looked at him " uh... nothing I'm just glad to be here..."

My dad smiled " I'm happy your here too... it's gonna be a great weekend!"


	11. Chapter 11

2 years later 

I was staying with my dad for the weekend. It was hard being with just my mom. I feel like she didn't get me. I feel like she didn't understand who I really was. My mom always wanted to protect me. My dad gave me freedom and I guess that's what it was like spending weekends with your other parent. I guess he was allowed to be more fun than my mom. I just didn't know if I could ever be honest with my mom. 

My dad and I ate dinner. We had pizza, it was our weekend routine. 

I looked at him " dad can I live here?!"

He looked at me " what do you mean...?"

I looked at him " I want to live with you full time?"

He looked at me " TK.... your mom has you during the week and I get you weekend... you know the rules."

I looked at him " but I want to stay with you!"

He looked at me " did you tell your mom that...?"

I looked at him " no she wouldn't get it!" 

He looked at me " well have to talk to your mom about that... I know your mom is strict on you but she means well."

I looked at him " dad I have to tell you something..."

He looked at me " what's that...?"

I looked at him " I'm different from the other kids at school... like really different"

He looked at me " that's ok TK"

I looked at him " I'm different because I'm... I.. I'm gay."

He looked at me, seeing the emotion on my face " ok"

I looked at him " ok...?"

My dad looked at me " TK I've always wanted you to be whoever you are.... and if your happy then I am."

I looked at him " I am happy.... but dad I want to live with you."

He looked at me " did you tell your mother about any of this...?"

I looked at him " no I was scared... I haven't told anybody"

He looked at me " son I'm gonna be here for you... but you have to tell your mom ok. and whatever happens, I will be here for you."


	12. Chapter 12

I kept this secret for months. My dad really wanted me to tell my mom, but I wasn't ready. He told me that when I was ready that I should tell her. It was easy to tell my dad which I didn't expect. I love my mom, but she can be tough.

I knew that I had to tell her sooner than later. It was going to be tough, but I guess I had to just do it.

I went into her home office " hey mom..."

She looked at me " yeah... what is it TK..?"

I looked at her " I have to tell you something..."

She looked at me " what is it...?"

I looked at her " this isn't easy.... but I've been keeping something from you for a while... and"

She looked at me " what honey...?"

I looked at her " mom... I'm gay!"

She looked at me " honey.... really?!"

I looked at her, and tears were flowing down my face " yes..... I'm sorry"

She looked at me " why are you sorry... there is nothing to be sorry about"

I looked at her "you're not mad...?"

She looked at me " of course not... I want you to be who you are."

I looked at her "I'm glad for you to say that..."

She looked at me " but can we keep this in the family..."

I looked at her " what?"

She looked at me " honey I'm glad you're open with me but I think it's best that for a while that you keep all this a secret..."

I looked at her "mom! This is why I didn't want to tell you!"

She looked at me " TK honey... you can tell dad but I think it's best that we should keep this between us three. Your grandparents are old school and..."

I interrupted her " This is exactly why I told dad first and why I never wanted you to know! I knew you wouldn't get it!"

She looked at me " TK.... honey"

I looked at her and I was mad " I want to move in with dad!"

She looked at me " where is this coming from...?"

I looked at her " I miss dad! I'm fifteen mom! I want to be with dad!"

She looked at me " you know the rules! Your dad gets you weekends and during the week your with me!

I looked at her " That's Bullcrap!"

She looked at me " well that's how it is... until you turn 18 that's how it's gonna be."


	13. Chapter 13

Months went by. I was still with my mom most of the time and I was miserable. I let that be known. When I was with my dad I felt free, but my mom wanted to control me and keep the gayness inside. I felt trapped.

I would sneak out for months. Ryan and I reconnected. We had been hanging out a lot and it was my escape from my home life with my mom.

He opened his window " TK..."

I climbed in " hey"

He looked at me " I can't be at home with my mom..."

He looked at me " do you want to talk about it...?"

I looked at him " not really..."

He kissed me " well ok"

I kissed him back and all we pretty much did was kiss.

I tripped over something and started to laugh

He covered my mouth " shh my parents are sleeping..."

I looked at him as we were on top of each other

He looked at me " so you want to sleep here..."

I smirked, " I want to do anything but sleep..."

A few weeks of sneaking around later

I had my head on his chest

He looked at me " so...."

I looked at him " yeah..."

He looked at me " TK what are we..?"

I smiled " well I'd say your my boyfriend!"

He kissed me " well that sounds nice"

I kissed him and I felt safe. This was safe.


	14. Chapter 14

It had been a few months of dating. My mom and dad didn’t know about Ryan. After my mom and I fought about me wanting to spend more time with my dad I had been distant. I snuck out when I wanted. She hadn’t noticed. It’s a good thing she’s a lawyer and not a cop. 

I talked to Ryan before the bell rang “ so I was going to go by the fire station after school to spend time with my dad and I was thinking you should come to meet him!”  
Ryan looked at me “ what?!”  
I looked at him “ Ry it’s my dad. He’s cool. It will be fun!”  
He looked at me “ ok…”  
The bell rang  
He kissed me “ see you later!”  
I kissed him for a second “bye!”

After school 

I walked in with Ryan  
He looked nervous  
I grabbed his hand “ it’s gonna be great…”

One of the guys came by “ hey TK!”  
I smiled “ Hey Tony!”  
He looked at me “ so your dad knows your stopping by?!”  
I looked at him “ yeah I mentioned it…”

We walked in the common room 

Tony yelled, “ look who I found wandering around!”  
The guys smiled “ TK!”  
I smiled “ hey guys…”  
My dad hugged me “ hey son!”  
I looked at him “ well hey guys this is my boyfriend… Ryan!”  
My dad shook his hand “ Ryan… nice to meet you I’m Owen TK’s dad!”  
He smiled “ you too Mr.Strand!”  
He laughed “ oh please call me Owen!”

I whispered, "See I told you he's cool!"


	15. Chapter 15

My mom had been increasingly more annoying. She and I would fight constantly. I would sneak out to Ryan’s every single night. I dreaded the weeks, but the weekends were when I was free. 

My dad invited Ryan over the house all the time, but my mom didn’t know about Ryan yet. It had been months, but I couldn’t tell her I had a boyfriend. It was already bad enough in her eyes that I was gay and I wanted to start to tell people about that. 

I snuck something out of my pocket   
Ryan looked at me “ is that…?”  
I smirked “ weed… yeah!”  
He looked at me “where did you get that…?”  
I looked at him “ you know Tommy… he knows somebody who can get some and he gave me some…”

I looked at him “ you want some…?”  
He looked at me “ is this a good idea…?”  
I looked at him “ come on… smoke with me and then we can do something I know you like…”  
He looked at me “ fine”

Months passed and I had been smoking and messing around a lot.   
My mom knocked on my door “ TK! What’s that smell?”  
She opened the door “ TK!”  
I yelled mom!!!”  
She looked at me “ what has gotten into you!”  
I looked at her “ nothing mom!”

She looked at me “ honey! You’ve been so distant what’s gotten into you…”  
I looked at her “ I don’t know mom! What do you think!”  
She looked at me “ don’t be fresh!”  
I looked at her “ I’m gonna go…”  
She looked at me “ Where do you think you’re going…?!”  
I yelled back “ MY BOYFRIENDS!”  
She looked at me “ Excuse me!!”

I yelled “ you heard me, mom! My boyfriend! I have a boyfriend!”


	16. Chapter 16

2.5 years later 

My mom and I are relationships is even more tense. She only met Ryan in passing. I never had him over at my mom’s. She was different than my dad. My dad loved Ryan. He would talk to him even if I wasn’t around. It was weird but also oddly nice.   
I still rebelled and did my own thing. I didn’t really have anything to loose 

I met Tommy to hang out “ hey man”  
I looked at him “ do you got it…?”  
He looked at me “ actually I got something even better…”  
I looked at him “ my brother gave me his pills from his back surgery last year… the pills were just going to go to waste”  
I looked at him “ I don’t know dude!”

He looked at me “ come on man….. Just this once”  
I looked at him “ I mean… sure why not!”

I tossed back a few  
He looked back at me “ how do you feel..?”  
I felt it “ great!”

It only took a few and I was changed. A few weeks passed and we kept taking pills.   
I knocked on his door   
Tommy opened it “ hey TK what’s up..?”  
I looked at him “ do you have any more of this those pills…?”  
He looked at me “ uh dude I don’t have any more… I gotta stop”  
I looked at him “ what do you mean…?”  
He looked at me “ this is getting serious… and we can’t do this anymore… TK I think you have a problem”  
I blew him off “ whatever man…”

I went home   
Ryan was sitting on the steps of my building   
I looked at him “ Ry what’s up..?”  
He looked at me “ where were you…?”  
I looked at him “ nowhere!”  
He looked at me “ Ty you look like shit!  
I looked at him “ shut up!”  
He looked at me “ i’m worried about you…”  
I looked at him “ well don’t”  
He looked at me “ babe what’s going on…?”

I lashed out “ nothing… I actually gotta go”  
He looked at me “ well I can drive us…”  
I looked at him “ I gotta go alone…”


	17. Chapter 17

It had been months. Ryan and I became distant. We would hook up, smoke a little and that was that.   
We didn’t talk anymore. I had new friends that I met through Tommy. I was using until I couldn’t feel the pain. I was drinking. It felt good. 

I walked into my house   
My mom looked at me “TK is that you!  
I yelled back “ yeah mom it’s me!”

She looked at me, figuring out I was drunk “ are you drunk..? You are!”  
I stood there, slumped over “ yeah so…”  
She looked at me “ I can’t do this with you anymore TK! You’re 17 drinking and doing god knows what else!”  
I looked at her “ what are you going to do!”  
My mom looked at me “ I can’t do this anymore with you! I’m calling your dad and your going to stay with him!  
I walked to my room and slammed the door “ fine!”  
She yelled “ you better pack while your there”

My mom got on the phone “ Owen it’s about TK…. he’s in trouble and I can’t deal with him anymore! I think he has to come live with you for a while…”


	18. Chapter 18

Things had been better since I moved in with dad. I felt good at home. He was on shift a few days a week. That’s when I would sneak off to do drugs and get high. My mom really didn’t think about that when she just shipped me off to be with my dad.

Ryan showed up one day when I was high

I looked at him “ what?”  
He looked at me “ what do you mean what….?”  
I looked at him and kissed him “ sorry…”  
He looked at me “ your high…?”

I looked at him “ a little…”  
I kept kissing him, but he pushed me off “ I’m not going to sleep with you when your high off your as TK…”  
I looked at him “ fine! Then why are you even here?”

He looked at me “ okay… so that’s what I am to you.”  
I looked at him “ no”  
He looked at me “ sure seems that way! You know what I don’t even know you anymore TK! You’re getting high every day and drinking! This isn’t the guy I know and love!”

I looked at him “ well I have changed since we were 13 what do you expect!”  
He looked at me “ no TK your not even the same person!”  
I looked at him “ your right I’m not…”

He looked at me “ I won’t do this with you. I won’t make you chose between the drugs and me! It’s either me or nothing. Dammit TK you need help!  
I looked at him “ Just go!”  
He looked at me “ If I leave then we’re over!”  
I looked at him “ bye Ry!”


	19. Chapter 19

It had been a month since Ryan and I broke up. It was fine. I just went further down this path. It was okay though because I was fine. My dad got on me for drinking and smoking, but the drugs he didn’t think much of that. Every day I got away with doing Oxy and so I just kept going in further and further. I had met new friends and these ones I knew they had my back.

Hours passed and the others left and it was just Ryder and me. 

There was silence there for a minute until he kissed me   
I pulled away and he just looked at me and I kissed him right back 

He looked at me “ wow!”  
I looked at him “ I thought…”  
He looked at me “ you thought what…?”  
I looked at him “ I just didn’t know you were gay…”

He looked at me “well now you know…”  
I looked at him “ you know my boyfriend and I just broke up …”  
He looked at me “ I heard that… look sorry I kissed you”

I kissed him again “ don’t be!”

A few short weeks later 

Ryder and I spent a lot of time alone. The other guys didn’t know about us. I don’t even know if they knew the whole truth about Ryder.

I looked at him “ so… do the guys know you’re… gay…?”  
He looked at me “ no… and don’t say a thing…”  
I looked at him “ of course not…”

He looked at me “ They’d probably be jealous…”  
I looked at him “ what..?!”  
He looked at me “ come on… you know I haven’t made you pay for anything since you and I started hooking up…”  
I looked at him “ I can though…”  
He kissed me “ you already are…. I’ll keep giving you your fix and we’ll keep doing this…”  
I smirked, “ so what trading drugs for sex…?”  
He looked at me “ TK your way more than that…. I like that we can get high and hook up together and that’s all it has to be… at least for now…”

I kissed him “you’re right... the last thing I need right now is a boyfriend!”


	20. Chapter 20

It had been months of doing drugs. I don’t know how long I have been doing all this. Time was not a strength of mine. The drugs also didn’t help. 

*I took my debit card and crushed the pills finely*

Ryder sniffed some of the oxy up his nose “ugh”  
I did a line “mmm ugh”

He looked at me “ what are you thinking in there…?”  
I looked at him “ nothing”  
He looked at me “no... really?”  
I looked at him “ my ex”  
He looked at me “ oof”  
I looked at him “ not about him exactly… but I’m just realizing how much I’ve fucked things up!”

He kissed me “ well you can do one thing right today…”  
I laughed “ you would like that wouldn’t you…”

A few months passed. I kept this life up. The high seemed like forever. It was only a day in my mind, but my dad got increasingly worried. 

I would not come home which was easy when he was on shift, but when he was off it was concerning. 

My dad stopped outside the school “ Ryan! Hey, it’s Owen Tk’s dad!”  
He looked at my dad “ I remember sir…”  
My dad looked at him “ have you seen TK?”  
He looked at my dad “ not in a while…”  
He looked at him “ what do you mean... ?”   
He at him “ you know we broke up a few months ago…”

My dad looked stunned “ no… I didn’t”  
He looked at him “ well I’m not surprised TK didn’t say anything… he really hasn’t been himself in a while….”  
My dad looked at him “ what do you mean?”  
Ryan looked at him “ when we first started dating we would smoke weed but then this guy Tommy introduced TK to harder drugs… like opioids…. And TK I don’t know but I do know that he’s in trouble, sir…”  
My dad looked at him “ thank you for telling me do you know where I can find this Tommy kid…”

He looked at him “ I have his number… I could give it to you... “   
My dad nodded “ I’d appreciate that!”


	21. Chapter 21

I came home. My dad waited up for me and I knew that had to mean I was in trouble. 

He looked at me “ where have you been..?”  
I looked at him “ out with friends…”  
He looked at me “ TK…”  
I looked at him “ what?”

He looked at me “ I know about the drugs...?”  
I looked at him “ from who..”  
He looked at me “ Ryan told me when I came to the school looking for you”

I looked at him “ I’m going to bed…”  
He looked at me “ ok but this conversation isn’t over…”

Graduation came. Nothing changed I was still doing oxy with Ryder. I would maintain by taking a few pills a day. Weekends were the party days. I made my dad think I was clean and it wasn’t hard. 

My dad looked at me “what’s next son?”  
I looked at him “ I want to a firefighter you know that. That’s always been the dream ever since I can remember talking.”   
My dad looked at me “ you’re gonna have to stay clean if that’s what you want”   
I nodded “ I know…”  
I went on a bender though. Ryder and I smoked and took some pills. I felt like I could run through glass and nothing would stop me. For the next year, this was a common thing for me. I would be clean and then go on a bender. It was all up and down. 

I was nineteen and it seemed like all I had right now was the drugs. I didn’t go forth with the fire academy yet. I didn’t do anything. 

I crushed the oxy and sniffed it up my nostrils “mmm”

I laid on the couch and it felt like days passed. 

My dad shook me but nothing   
He said my name   
He tapped my face “TK wake up!”

I sat up “ dad dad!”   
He looked at me “ what did you take?”  
I looked at him “ oxy!”

I knew this was not the last I would hear of this…


	22. Chapter 22

I got up that next morning. I knew I was in deep shit with my dad. I know I fucked up. I know that I need help.

My dad looked at me “ morning”  
I looked at him “ dad I’m sorry”  
He looked at me “ TK what were you thinking? Doing drugs?”  
I looked at him “I’m sorry”

He looked at me “ how long?”  
I looked at him “ the opioids 2 years I’d say….”  
He looked at me “ dammit TK!”  
I looked at him “ I know I need help! I know I can’t do this anymore!”

He looked at me “ hear me out! I think you should go into treatment!”  
I looked at him “ what?!!”  
He looked at me “ I can’t trust that the next time I come home after a shift that you won’t be dead. You need help and I know a facility where you can get help!”

I looked at him “ ok”  
He looked at me “ and if you still want to be a firefighter this is what you have to do…”  
I looked at him “ ok… take me to treatment” 

I checked in. They took all my belongings. They asked if I had drugs on me and I felt antsy knowing that I won’t get my fix. I knew that these next few days were going to be rough. 

My dad hugged me tight “ I’ll visit you as soon as I can…”  
I held him “ I love you dad!”


	23. Chapter 23

I had been in treatment for 6 months. It felt weird to not taking part in what most people my age were doing. After high school, I messed around and didn't consider college. I actually never saw that as my future because I always wanted to be a firefighter like my dad. 

After all this time I forgot what it was like to be on the outside. This program was pretty intense. It was a lot of therapy and talking about feels which is something I've never been good at. I needed this after using drugs for so long. I could be here for even close to a year, but my doctors have said I'm doing good. 

There was one big step and that was the dreaded family therapy. My parents in the same room as me, that was going to be tough. 

My dad hugged me tight, not saying any words 

I held on for a few minutes " I missed you dad!"

He looked at me " you look good TK"

I looked at him and smirked a little " thanks..."

My mom walked in " TK!"

I hugged her, but this was hard " hi mom"

I hadn't seen my mom since she kicked me out and uprooted me to my dads full time. This couldn't go well. 

The Dr looked at them " Family is really important for TK's recovery and to maintain sobriety. He's been taking the steps and as his family he needs you to listen and try and understand and that's what this session today is meant to accomplish."

I looked at them " I'm sorry... I know I disappointed you and i'm sorry. I haven't been myself for a long time and yeah that's kinda because of the drugs..."

My mom looked at me " honey i'm glad your getting better.... but when you get out I just want you to know you can come home with me."

I looked at her " i'm sorry mom but I can't."

She looked at me " oh honey... of course you can!"

I looked at her " mom I can't. I'm still gonna live with dad. You told me to hide the fact that i'm gay. You wanted me to shut out myself from the world. I can't do that anymore..."

The doctor looked at me " that's valid TK... how does all this make you feel!"

I looked down " I don't know... I guess the drugs for me was all about coping and getting through not being able to feel like I could be myself..."

The doctor looked at me " well your doing great and I don't see why you wouldn't be able to be released within the next few weeks... so how do you feel about that?"

I sat there " scared.... out there there's temptations and old friends and I worry that I might get back into old habits..."

He looked at me " and what did we say about that..."

I looked at him " that I need to stick with my routine and making new friendships and not going back to old friends that bring up the bad habits..."

I was ready to go home, but I still knew there was a lot of work to be done.


	24. Chapter 24

1 year had passed. I was released from treatment after 7 months. I went home with my dad. After leaving treatment I submerged myself into my routine. I woke up early and went to the gym. I worked at a crappy restaurant job. I did that for months. I worked out and got myself into shape. 

After being sober a year. I knew what I wanted and I knew I had to work hard to get it. I had to put this focus on me. I applied to the fire academy recently and got in. I worked out before having to train and do the classes. It was grueling, but this was a good discipline for me. I know I wanted to be a firefighter and having to work for it just makes it even more worth it. 

I texted someone " hey can we meet up tomorrow...."

He texted " sure meet me at 10"

Saturday 

I sat at a coffee shop drinking my black coffee 

He sat down " hi"

I looked at him " thanks for meeting me Ryan"

He looked at me " you look good"

I looked at him " I smiled thanks..."

He looked at me " I haven't heard from you in years TK... 3 years to be exact!"

I looked at him, pulling a chip from out of my pocket and setting it on the table " i'm sober Ryan... 1 year. I was a real dick to you and i'm sorry. I can't say sorry enough. I was shitty to you and you didn't deserve any of that. I'm an addict. I spent 7 months in rehab and I learned a lot about... me and who I truly am. I know what I did was inexcusable but I want to make amends.... I want you to know I've changed.... and i'm doing better for myself..."

He looked at me " I appreciate that.... I don't know if I can forgive you for all that... but is it weird to say i'm proud of you."

I smiled " no not at all...."

He looked at me " so what are you doing with your life... now?"

I looked at him " I'm in the fire academy"

He looked at me " that's what you've always wanted"

I nodded " yeah it is...."


	25. Chapter 25

2 years sober 

I was a firefighter now! 

I had been for a year. The probie stage ended and lucky enough for me I was able to land at the same station as my dad. It was nice because at least I had someone in my corner at home and work. 

I was still going to the gym every day. I'm sticking to my routine. 

I had seen this guy there for the past two years. He was cute. 

He would look at me, but then pretend like he totally wasn't checking me out 

I walked over to him as he lifted some light weights " hey"

He looked nervous that I was over here trying to talk to him" hi"

I looked at him " I've seen you here a lot ever since I joined this gym"

He looked at me " you've noticed.."

I smiled " yeah kinda hard when you're always looking at me... but I'm into that sort of thing..."

He looked at me " well..."

I looked at him " you wanna get a coffee or something..."

He looked at me " well I gotta get to work but how about tomorrow at 1"

I smiled " that would be great!"

the next day 

This was my first date since being sober. This was a big deal. I knew it was good to dip my feet in the water, but it just made me think of all that could go wrong. 

It was coffee though, just coffee. I knew I had to take a chance if I want to get back out there. 

I sat down drinking an iced black coffee 

He sat down with his lateé " so what do you do for work...?"

I looked at him "I'm a firefighter..."

He looked at me "oh...wow... that's impressive!"

I looked at him " I guess... so how about you...?"

He looked at me " oh I'm a writer... I work in freelance... and it's nothing special but I guess it pays the bills..."

The conversation was good and the date was coming to an end but I knew there was that one thing I had to say.

I looked at him " there is something I have to tell you before we take things... well something that might change things..."

He just looked at me 

I blurted " I'm an addict!"

He looked at me " oh.. um"

I looked at him " I totally ruined this..."

He looked at me " no..no!"

I looked at him " I didn't...?"

He looked at me " no... you just caught me off guard. I appreciate you being honest with me TK"

I looked at him " I'm 2 years sober... so I might want to take things slow. and I don't like to be around alcohol even though I know I won't have any. It's just triggering for me.... and I'm just not there yet"

He looked at me " slow is ok!"


	27. Chapter 27

It took 2 years before I was ready to be in a committed relationship with Alex. I was 22 and I felt like I belonged. I felt like work was good and my personal life was. 

Everything just seemed right

I met Alex for coffee, I guess it was our thing

He kissed me 

I sat down " so I'd like to talk to you about something"

He looked at me " okkk...."

I looked at him " so... I know it's been 2 years and we've been hanging out and doing this... but ... well Alex I would like no more than for you to be my boyfriend"

He looked at me " seriously?"

I smiled " yeah... i'm ready!"

He kissed me and I kissed him

We both knew one thing 

We had to get out of there 

He brought me to his place since it was closer. 

We kissed and he started to remove my clothes 

and I removed his. 

He looked at me " is this ok"

I smiled " yeah now stop talking..."


	28. Chapter 28

A year into dating I thought it was time Alex met my dad. He had hardly met any of my friends and the last few weren't the best. I honestly don't know if my last boyfriend was boyfriend. I mean I didn't know if that was even what I would call him. I didn't know how this would go. 

We got to my dad's 

My dad shook his hand " Alex good to meet you!"

He smirked " like wise..."

He looked at him " so son what do you do...?"

Alex looked at him " I work in freelance... I'm a writer..."

My dad was intrigued " oh that's interesting.... what do you write..."

He looked at him " depends... I just finished a creative piece it's like an art form.. some poetry... some stories.... it depends the mood."

My dad looked at me and then at him " so how did you two meet... I don't think TK has told me the story...?"

I looked at him " the gym dad..."

He smiled " well isn't that nice..."

I knew that he didn't like him. It was just how he was talking. I knew he didn't like Alex and he wasn't going to be supportive.

Alex left and I looked at my dad " you hated him!"

My dad shook his head " no.. no!"

I looked at him " you did!"

He looked at me " he was nice... I just.. I just want the best for you TK!"

I looked at him " well I like him"


	29. Chapter 29

A few years in dating

I felt like I made it as a firefighter. I was doing the work and I wasn't a probie. I was me. I felt like part of the team. I loved doing the job. Alex didn't love the job all the time because it meant I was putting myself into danger every shift. 

This is what I loved though and for me there was nothing else. 

I went to his place the next night, with my hand wrapped up 

I had burned it, it was no big deal! 

Injuries happen all the time 

He looked at me " oh my god.. TK what happened?"

I looked at him " nothing.... it was just from a structure fire... it burned through my gloves.... nothing major..."

He looked at me " nothing... major!"

I looked at him " I love you but you need to relax.... this is my job"

He looked at me " what?"

I looked at him " look it's my job. I'm gonna get burned and scrapped and maybe break a bone, but that's just small stuff. Things might happen... but I promise I'll be ok"

He looked at me " no... you said I love you!"

I looked at him " yeah I guess I did... because I do"

He kissed me " I love you too!"


	30. Chapter 30

4 years of dating and I knew that I was ready. I was ready to get married and I wanted to be married to Alex. My dad didn't love him. He thought that he didn't understand my job and I mean he didn't completely, but Alex supported me. He didn't like that with my job comes pain and hurt. He didn't like that I could get hurt. 

My dad encouraged me to move in with Alex first, but I had already bought the ring a month prior. I had saved up for a while and I knew this was what I wanted to do. 

I sat in that restaurant picturing the rest of our lives. I loved Alex and I wanted a life of just us. 

He walked into the restaurant and I felt a million different things. I was happy and I just wanted it to be just us. 

He looked at me as I started to talk " Alex I love you! I have for as long as I can remember. I know you fell for me long before I did, but I'm happy you gave me a chance. I'm happy you gave us time and you were patient. I know we are worth it. I love everything about you and..."

I got on one knee " would you make me the luckiest guy.... Alex will you marry me?"

He didn't say anything

he just went silent 

He looked at me "TK...." 

I looked at him " you don't want to get married..."

He looked at. me " now for my thing... I'm so sorry TK but I'm in love with someone else. I never wanted any of this to happen..."

I looked at him " who is he?"

He looked at me " Mitchell my trainer!"

I looked at him " so you're sleeping with him...?"

He looked at me " no no.... it was never nothing more than kissing"

I looked at him " save it"

He looked at me "I was going to tell you..."

I looked at him " ya save it!"

I ran out of the restaurant. Everything hurt, but I just sucked down the tears. 

I walked around the block and tears filled my cheeks. 

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a dude exchanging money for pills 

I walked out there " hey man all I got is this ring... it's worth two grand man... how much can I get for it..."

He looked at me " look man... I take cash so come back when you have that..."

I looked at him " I beg you man.... my man just broke up with me and I need something to take the edge off..."

He looked at me " it's worth two grand... you said?

I shook my head 

He looked at me " this should cover it...?"

the day after

I took some pills the night before and some this morning. Everything hurt and I was willing to take all the pain away. 

My dad found me though this morning and I knew it was over. It was back to rehab. This was never supposed to happen I had been sober for 5 years. 

It was never supposed to be like this 

My dad looked at me " I got an offer to run a station in Austin. We're getting out of town... look at it as a fresh start"

I looked at him " so just like that..."

He looked at me " I'll get you out of your lease... but you're coming with me. We need this son!"

*back to reality*

I looked at Carlos " My life has never been easy... and I know I don't open up easy but I'm willing to give this a shot Carlos..."

Carlos looked at me " well thank you for letting me in..."

I looked at him, sipping my mineral water " so.... you know my life story but I don't know very much about you either Carlos...

He looked at me " well... let's take it back to my place and I'll tell you everything you want to know..."

The End 

To be continued in Carlos Begins


End file.
